October 25th - Cobblers! Take a Break!

 

Hey shoemakers!

You work so hard.

Thankfully the heroic cobblers Saint Crispin and his unimaginatively named younger brother, Crispinian died in horrific martyrdom so you could put your feet up and have a little drink or two today.

Go on. Put your feet up. You've earned it.

For the rest of us non-cobblers mark this day by not bothering a cobbler. Maybe you could not wear a shoe  or two or just give your shoes a rest, perhaps don't tie those pesky laces.

Have fun!

October 18th - Feeling Horny? It's time for the Charlton Horn Fair!

 At the Charlton Horn Fair you can dress as a king, as a Miller’s Wife or as a Miller (in which case don some horns you poor cuckhold) and celebrate King John tupping the Miller’s Wife by whipping women on the bottom with branches of furze and finishing the whole affair with a jolly orgy*!  

* Orgies are optional and  liable to have the fair closed down (this happened in 1872).

(Source: Maypoles Martyrs and Mayhem – Quentin Cooper and Paul Sullivan)

October 11th - P*ss off mouse!

On Saint Canice's Day we remember how the great saint of Inchkenneth reprimanded seagulls for their naughtiness and crucially how he banished mice for nibbling his sandals.

So go on, tell a mouse to “piss off” today!

 

Interestingly you can also tell frogs to “bugger off” and badgers to “get lost”. 

Seagulls can “do one”.