The March Mix - The Hare is Here

It is March and the Hare has come.

Wander the Kalendar Heath with care lest it spy you and hop upon your back to whisper in your ear.

Whilst you wander you will be serenaded by Shirley Collins, Pentangle, Jethro Tull, Iron Maiden, The Carter Family, George Formby, Maddy Prior, Igor Stravinsky, Ozric Tentacles, Noah and the Whale, Abe Lyman, Mark Korven, Anne Briggs and David Cain. Hide behind them as they play so the hare cannot see you.

As you skip from hillock to mound you may hear snatches of the Wyrd Kalendar story for March "The Crucified Hare" written by Chris Lambert and read by Ralf Higgins.

Shrove Tuesday - Threshing the Hen

You could have a pancake or...

Taken from "Folklore and Customs of Rural England" by Margaret Baker

Nickanan Night on Collop Monday

A Bacon Butty this morning.

It is pancake day tomorrow...
Once we have eaten our pancakes and got rid of our delicious treats we can prepare for the fast.
So today on Collop Monday or Shrove Monday or Peasen Monday we finish our meats.
We stuff our faces with our last steak or a bacon butty followed by pea soup ready for our veg only diet.
That all sounds wonderful but... beware of the vandals loose on Nickanan Night tonight...

Children playing Nick Nack on Collop Monday

In some villages naughty children play "Nick Nack" ... knocking on doors and running away. This is terrifying for anyone who owns a door and children should be warned against such shenanigans - as, not only does it frighten poor souls, it may result in the bairns who are caught getting no pancakes tomorrow or something even worse.

Nickanan the Demon - (Taken from the children's book "Nickanan and the Eggs" by Bernadette Teldwater)

It is well known that three knocks on three doors in succession are likely to raise the demon Nickanan who forces communities to abandon Lent in favour of forty days of a strict egg based diet. One village who suffered his visitation saved hundreds of pounds on toilet paper that year but were incredibly foul tempered throughout the feast of Lent.

Nickanan nights tend to be celebrated in Cornwall - if you have an experience of this tonight please do tell us here...

The Hare Is Coming...

Catch the pancake...

"Shrive thee pancake! Do not smile at me oh sinner made from egg and flour!" said the little boy in a righteous fury.

Are you ready to shrive?

Next week is Shrove Tuesday, a day in which you must make confession and be rid of your past sins in the same way you will get rid of all your leftovers in a pancake.

This  pancake did not confess.

They will catch it... it will shrive... and then it shall be eaten as all sinners are...

Do not make the same mistake...

The Beast of February - Be my Valentine - The Dark Story Behind Valentine's Day

Artist's  impression of The February Beast - (Topsell)

It is often wondered why potential lovers keep themselves anonymous when they send cards, gifts and platitudes on Valentine's Day.

Some consider this to be linked to the apocryphal tale of Saint Valentine who left a note for the girl (who he had cured of blindness with his prayers) signed "Your Valentine".

Others consider it to be a sweet and genteel way of telling someone you admire from afar that you care for them.

However the truth behind the tradition is perhaps more bizarre and sinister than was previously thought. In short, the giving of gifts (or in these days cards) anonymously is said to placate or distract the ravenous attentions of the "February Beast".

We used to live in far more open and transparent times. If a young villeyn sought the attention of a peasant girl he would think nothing of approaching her publicly; across an open field, in a busy tavern or by strolling into her mother's kitchen. He would then happily take her in his arms and cover her nose and hands with kisses. If the maid did not strike him hard and give him what became known as "unrequited jaw" then a match would be made.

This was before Valentines Day...

Before the February Beast...

Clues as to how this tradition began were discovered by Sir Stanley Coulton; a late 19th century folklorist, historian and poet. In his explorations of Somerset he discovered and updated this ancient piece of prose which really gives an insight into the beginnings of Valentine's Day.

"Do not kiss, my love.
We must hide our passion.
I will hide my name
Lest the Beast come.

Stand in the shadows of the house
Or beneath the thick leaves of the oak
Let the willow hide our shame
Lest the Beast come.

I shall not give thee flowers
Nor sweetmeats or wine
I shall not sink upon one knee
Lest the Beast come."

The threat, Coulton realised, was very real to people of rural communities. Shows of affection, love or, heaven forbid, lust could result in the giver or recipient being attacked, injured or even killed by the February Beast, a creature seemingly only seen in the second month of the year. Coulton found an account of one of of these attacks in the back of a prayer book in a church just outside Bridgewater.

"And verily as the two did find themselves in tight embrace the February Beast, tail aflame, eyes burning like hot birch embers, crashed through the bracken and bit the head off the young gentleman with nary a murmur. Then the beast turned upon the woman biting off her head before devouring her and her lover's warm hearts."

Leading cryptozoologists suggest that it had a very specific hibernation, breeding and feeding cycle that meant that it was only present in February. Why it was attracted to young lovers could be linked to its breeding cycle, the pheromones given off by these lusty fools could have acted as catnip to this strangest of beasts.

It is more likely that the legend of the beast was concocted to ensure that those at the mercy of their libidinous desires held themselves back and followed the straight and narrow path.

However it does give one reason to pause...

This Valentines Day do be careful, do not reveal your name, do not give in to your lusty passion. Keep yourself safe from the February Beast...

February - Where has the little woolly atom gone?

Start your February with an extract from Statio Sexta. This is the poem that introduces the February activities in "Something to Do" by Septima. If we had some snow and some sheep this would work perfectly as we watch the little woolly atom disappearing into the white...

Ha! snow

Upon the crags!

How slow

The winter lags

Ha, little lamb upon the crags,

How fearlessly you go!

Take care

Up there,

You little woolly atom! On and on

He goes . . . ‘tis steep . . . Hillo!

My friend is gone!

It is February - Don't wander too far now...

It is February.

Open the Wyrd Kalendar and venture into a cold world with a young woman who experiences the days of February that the rest of us miss.

It is a lonely month but you will have company from The Unthanks, Eels, The Incredible String Band, Colosseum, Jesus Jones, King Creosote, Chungking and others who muse on the month and its many frosty wonders.

Wyrd Kalendar is a Folk Horror Revival project that includes a folk horror mix inspired by each month, a book of short stories and illustrations to be published later in the year and an accompanying album to follow in 2018.

Extracts from Chris Lambert's "February 31st" read by Natasha Trott