The Beast of February - Be my Valentine - The Dark Story Behind Valentine's Day

Artist's  impression of The February Beast - (Topsell)

It is often wondered why potential lovers keep themselves anonymous when they send cards, gifts and platitudes on Valentine's Day.

Some consider this to be linked to the apocryphal tale of Saint Valentine who left a note for the girl (who he had cured of blindness with his prayers) signed "Your Valentine".

Others consider it to be a sweet and genteel way of telling someone you admire from afar that you care for them.

However the truth behind the tradition is perhaps more bizarre and sinister than was previously thought. In short, the giving of gifts (or in these days cards) anonymously is said to placate or distract the ravenous attentions of the "February Beast".

We used to live in far more open and transparent times. If a young villeyn sought the attention of a peasant girl he would think nothing of approaching her publicly; across an open field, in a busy tavern or by strolling into her mother's kitchen. He would then happily take her in his arms and cover her nose and hands with kisses. If the maid did not strike him hard and give him what became known as "unrequited jaw" then a match would be made.

This was before Valentines Day...

Before the February Beast...

Clues as to how this tradition began were discovered by Sir Stanley Coulton; a late 19th century folklorist, historian and poet. In his explorations of Somerset he discovered and updated this ancient piece of prose which really gives an insight into the beginnings of Valentine's Day.

"Do not kiss, my love.
We must hide our passion.
I will hide my name
Lest the Beast come.

Stand in the shadows of the house
Or beneath the thick leaves of the oak
Let the willow hide our shame
Lest the Beast come.

I shall not give thee flowers
Nor sweetmeats or wine
I shall not sink upon one knee
Lest the Beast come."

The threat, Coulton realised, was very real to people of rural communities. Shows of affection, love or, heaven forbid, lust could result in the giver or recipient being attacked, injured or even killed by the February Beast, a creature seemingly only seen in the second month of the year. Coulton found an account of one of of these attacks in the back of a prayer book in a church just outside Bridgewater.

"And verily as the two did find themselves in tight embrace the February Beast, tail aflame, eyes burning like hot birch embers, crashed through the bracken and bit the head off the young gentleman with nary a murmur. Then the beast turned upon the woman biting off her head before devouring her and her lover's warm hearts."

Leading cryptozoologists suggest that it had a very specific hibernation, breeding and feeding cycle that meant that it was only present in February. Why it was attracted to young lovers could be linked to its breeding cycle, the pheromones given off by these lusty fools could have acted as catnip to this strangest of beasts.

It is more likely that the legend of the beast was concocted to ensure that those at the mercy of their libidinous desires held themselves back and followed the straight and narrow path.

However it does give one reason to pause...

This Valentines Day do be careful, do not reveal your name, do not give in to your lusty passion. Keep yourself safe from the February Beast...

The Armour of Resolve

A replica of the left arm pole of the Armour of Resolve.

The villagers of Stourton took keeping to their resolutions very seriously. One report, written by poet, explorer and folklorist Sir Stanley Coulton in 1887, told of how, on New Years Day, the villagers would gather in the Village Hall to announce their resolutions. These would be written onto parchment and pinned to the wall. 

On the 15th January (Armour Day) the villagers would gather and tell each other of their travails in keeping their resolution. A failure to hold to the resolution would result in that sorry villager being forced to wear the Armour of Resolve. The Armour of Resolve was effectively a series of long poles that were worn by the "Irresolute" by the application of a series of leather straps and buckles. One was attached along the spine from the top of the head to the base of the spine ensuring that the "Irresolute" could not move their head from left to right and only face forwards. The others were attached to arms and legs to keep movement stiff and straight. The purpose of this punishment was to remind the "Irresolute" to keep to the straight and narrow, to not stray from the path they had set themselves. The "Irresolute" would wear the armour for four days and four nights and then report back to the villagers whether or  not the resolution had been adhered to.

In the forthcoming book "Wyrd Kalendar" there is another tale of a strange resolution from the town of Woodchester. You can catch snippets of that tale in this month's mix.