Martha and the Girdle of Power

It's Saint Martha's  Day! 

When she wasn't too busy making scones for  Christ whilst he revived her dead  brother Lazarus Saint Martha found the time, in First Century Judea, to defeat a dragon (called Tarasque) using her medieval girdle.

This method is still used to defeat Dragons today and Wyrd Kalendar have created a handy cut out and keep poster for you to cut out and keep (see above).

Who doesn't want their own Dragon? Martha did. Here you can see her feeding it a bishop.

According to Legend Martha visited France in 48AD and started converting the French to  Christianity. 

After defeating Tarasque the Dragon, Martha used it as a surfing aid. 

While she was visiting the town of Tarascon she discovered it was being terrorised by a dragon called Tarasque. She went out to meet the dragon, flicked holy water on it which calmed it down and then tied her girdle about its neck.

Saint Martha was often seen taking the Dragon Tarasque for walks at the local park. This had to stop after it burnt the bins, ate three babies and scared a duck.

Once it was in her power soldiers came to town and killed it with their spears... however some say she kept it as a pet... others that they teamed up to form a crime-fighting team. (It has recently been reported that "Martha and the  Dragon" is currently being developed by Netflix.)

Tarasque the dragon sadly died of complications brought on by morbid obesity. This was mainly due to its Bishop rich diet.

You can find out more about Saint Martha in Sister Mary Agatha Bootle's seminal work "Making Scones for  Christ."

Published by Esoheritix in 1977

August is coming - Listen to the Willows

Saint Pantaleon's Day - Think of the poor executioner...

We've all been there.

That job that you thought was going to be easy but it turns into a rolling nightmare.

You come home exhausted and upset.

Who can you turn to? Who can understand what you've been through?

On this Saint Pantaleon's day let's spare a thought for the executioner.

Get down from there! Simeon Stylites and the pillar of Austerity

You had enough of people?

They are awful aren't they? With their faces and clothes, their opinions and breath, their lives and thoughts. Disgusting.

There are two ways of dealing with your misanthropy. 

The first is to kill everyone in the entire world. This is a costly exercise and would probably be quite tiring so why not try the second option.

Why not live on the top of a pillar or pole?

Simeon Stylites did it and was made a saint for his trouble. And his day is celebrated on July 24th.

Mind you he probably hated the fact he was in a club with all the other saints. Because they were people. And people are awful. 

"God those guys are tall" thought Simeon jealously.

Simeon was an ascetic. He gave up worldly goods and lived a life of poverty to honour God. He was so irritating that the other monks thought he was showing them up asked him to leave. It was then that he decided to live on top of a pillar to escape humanity. People would bring him food and I assume someone cleaned the bottom of the pillar every so often.

The Browning Seance

To celebrate the famous seance on 23rd July 1855, (where the poet Robert Browning and his wife witnessed several disembodied hands and floating clemati) the entrepeneur, medium and alleged professional charlatan William Talchester recorded this seance.

It took place on the same date in 1936. William Talchester reported that he had successfully contacted the famous dead poet.

Judge for yourself.

Get Lucky with Gabe!

Are you feeling low?

Think everything is conspiring against you?

Do you wish that just once things could go your way?

Do you wish you had a little bit of luck?

Well fret no more! It's July 12th!

The Archangel Gabriel has long established this to be the luckiest day of the year!

For more details check out the lovely display below!

Good Luck!

Test your luck: Roll one die. If you roll lower than your luck score then something lucky will definitely happen... if you roll higher then it's not July 12th!

What is in the Grotto? The July Mix is here...

It is July.

 It is time to run through the fields, your hand trailing against the light brown grass so close to harvest, ignoring the angry cries of the farmer as you exploit your imagined bucolic past.

 It is time to build a grotto to celebrate Saint James. It is time to venture onto the Kalendar Heath again. Let the heat of these songs enfold you as Jim Moon reads extracts from this month’s story “Grotto Day” (written by Chris Lambert as part of “Wyrd Kalendar” due for publication in October).

 This month’s mix contains music by Goldfrapp, Terry Reid, Uriah Heep, David Cain, Be Bop Deluxe, Gordon Lightfoot, John Stewart, Laura Veirs, Roger Waters, Sesame Street, Nick Nicely, Slim Dusty, Velvet Opera and Soundgarden.