Decorate your milk pail! It's Kit Dressing Day!

It is August the 4th.

The sun is shining.

The cattle are lowing.

And you the hearty milk-maid are ready for the kit-dressing.

You have your best kit (pail) and you have wound intricate twigs of willow around the handle and the sides.

Into these you insert flowers, silk and muslin ribbons and other trinkets.

Then you join the procession to the willow tree.

The Kit dressing ritual of August 4th is the inspiration behind the Wyrd Kalendar story "The Weeping will Walk" which you can purchase here.

This also inspired Icarus Peel to create this tune for the August track of the Wyrd Kalendar album.

The Game of Lammas - WKTV

What is the Game of Lammas? 

Find out in this the first episode from WKTV. 

Subscribe for more Wyrd Kalandar fun! You never know there may be another episode! 

 You will need: a piece of straw 

And this phrase: "I bought a beard at Lammas Fair, 

It's a' awa' but ae hair - wag, beardie wag!"

 

Oi Witches! Stop bothering my cows!

Witches are such a problem at Lammas time. 

One of their main crimes (alongside curses, hexes and general chicanery) is of course COW BOTHERING.

Nobody wants to see a cow being bothered. No-one wants to see the results of cow bothering.

You’ve asked the witches nicely and yet on they bother.

Bothering the cows so the milk goes sour.

Bothering the calves so they forget to grow.

Bothering the bulls so their pintels droop.

What can you do? The answer is simple: 

Put a ball of hair into a pail of milk today and that will keep the witches from your cows!

Wrap up cold! It's a Dog day!

Feeling out of sorts?

Ill?

Can't get comfy?

Are their evil portents or foul things afoot?

Has your dog gone plum crazy?

Are you a bit hot?

Worry not! All that has happened is that the dog star has risen with the sun and we are in the midst of the Dog Days!

The Dog Days occur between the 3rd July and the 11th August.

To survive them you will need the following:

1. Ice

2. Water

3. Umbrella

4. Naked skin

5. A fan

6. Lemonade

7. A slice of lemon

8. A sprig of mint

9. Pimms

For more information watch the documentary "Dog Day Afternoon" presented by Al Pacino.

It's Saturday! Cut your nails!

As everyone knows Saturday is a good day to cut your nails, for you will meet your sweetheart on the following day. Who hasn't met a sweetheart on a Sunday because of their footcare the day before? No-one that's who!

On other days cutting your nails may bring further fortune or misfortune. This is of course all true and scientifically proven through the stringent work of podiatrists.

Monday for health, 
Tuesday for wealth, 
 Wednesday for news, 
Thursday for shoes, 
Friday for sorrow, 
Saturday see your sweetheart tomorrow, 
If you cut them on Sunday you cut them for evil, 
And all the week through you will sup with the Devil.

Source: Household Tales with other Traditional Remains – Sidney Oldall Addy

July 16th - Crab the Parson!

Have you ever had the urge to lob handfuls of small, bitter fruit at a vicar?

Well now's your chance! 

On July 16th you would find hundreds of bruised and battered parsons covered in the remnants of crabapples thrown by enthusiastic parishioners to celebrate the eve of Saint Kenelm's Day.

(Source: Maypoles, Mayhem and Martyrs by Quentin Cooper and Paul Sullivan.)

Dragon Day!

As everyone knows July 14th is Dragon Day! 

That is because, as everyone knows, a dragon landed in a cowfield in Henham, Essex, on this day in 1669. This incredible event was reported widely via pamphlet (the Huffington Post of its day) and became the foundation of a glorious drunken fair in which copious amounts of cider and beer (in the same glass) were consumed in honour of this fiery visitor.

So, like those villagers of old (or university students out on the razz) raise a glass of Snakebite to the Dragon and roar!