Parentalia - Visit your long deceased ancestor today!

Today is the day to visit old Great Auntie Margery at her ancient walk in tomb.

Remember to take wine, flowers and milk as it is a well known fact that ghosts love them. However they also take great umbrage if you decide to get married today or if you worship at the local temple. There is nothing worse than a grumpy ghost so we at Wyrd Kalendar have created a poster for you to remember these important rules so that you can commune with the dead without fear of retribution.

If you are having trouble getting hold of Wine, Flowers and Milk you could try WINOWILK!

Developed by Parentalia Labs, this contains all the Wine, Flowers and Milk and ghost would needs and will guarantee you are safe from any hauntings by angry ancestral spectres!*

*Hauntings by angry ancestral spectres may still occur.

It's Walpurgis Night! Protect Your House From Witches!

It is Walpurgis Night! 

What are you doing to protect your home from witches?

We at Wyrd Kalendar have been kind enough to collate genuine methods for repelling witches.

Don't forget...

Every WALPURGIS NIGHT witches of   every hue, age and colour will plague our land.

It is vital that you protect your house from these supernatural miscreants.

They will ride about on a horse with THE  DEVIL, 

turn your MILK sour, 

CURSE your cattle, 

replace your children with FOUL argumentative urchins, 

make your PORRIDGE stiff, 

CAST spells that will make you have FUN, 

embrace TREES, 

heal AILMENTS, 

fly on BROOMSTICKS, 

DANCE around bonfires,  

use HERBS, 

speak with their FAMILIARS, 

stroke CATS, 

make deals with GOATS, 

tell FORTUNES, 

make POPPETS, 

sport HATS, 

wear NOTHING at all, 

make otherwise good and honest MENFOLK think LUSTFUL and LASCIVIOUS thoughts, 

caper about POLES, 

knock at your DOOR...

TO STOP WITCHES ENTERING YOUR HOME WE RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING FOOLPROOF METHODS…

MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS YOU CAN - RING CHURCH BELLS - SLAM DOORS - CRACK WHIPS—BANG POTS AND PANS

LIGHT BONFIRES

ERECT CROSSES

BRANDISH TORCHES (TOPPED WITH ROSEMARY AND JUNIPER)

WITCH PROOF YOUR HOUSE WITH BIRCH BOUGHS

STAY SAFE!