Monday, 28 December 2020

It's December 28th! Just stay in bed...


Today is the unluckiest day of the year. 

It is Childermas - the day in which we remember the babies killed by King Herod - this is considered to be the unluckiest day. 

If the 28th has fallen on a Monday then this is also Judas' birthday. This day is also considered to be the unluckiest day of the year. So you have two for the price of one. 

Our advice?

Stay in bed.

And if you've got out of bed?

Go back to bed and stay there.

There really is no point doing anything today.

Sunday, 13 December 2020

It's December 13th! Stick some candles on your bonce!

It’s up to you! Either you can celebrate Saint Lucy’s Day who miraculously couldn’t be violated or burnt (but could be stabbed in the neck). Or you can  just acknowledge that this is Norse Yule Time and stick some candles on your bonce!

Sunday, 29 November 2020

It's Vampire Night!


It's Vampire Night! Let's dance, cavort and drink fresh blood!*

“Tonight is Vampire Night. In Romania the Strigoii or Vampires are said to leave their graves to seek out their former homes and victims. So hang out your garlic, put out your crosses… for the vampires are prowling and they’re looking for you. Be safe. And, if you can’t be safe, then dance, dance to these Vampire tunes. Happy Vampire Night!” – The Kalendar Host

With tunes from the likes of The Upsetters, Soft Cell, Gene Page, Rupert Lally, Bauhaus, Vampire Sound Incorporated, The Hues Corporation, Francois de Roubaix, Rob Zombie, Cobra Verde, Tangerine Dream, Gorillaz, Emil Richards, Beth Orton, Jonathan Elias, Radiohead, Gerard McCann, Tito and Tarantula, David Whitaker, Hot Blood, Jace Everett, Dirty Pretty Things, Barenakedladies, Jason Segel, Michael Vickers, Nouvelle Vague, Ministry, Michael Rubini and Denny Jaeger.

*For vegans you could try Ribena, vegan red wine or Linda McArtney's Blood Substitute (TM)

Sunday, 22 November 2020

It's November 22nd! Play with your organ today!

Thank you Saint Cecilia! Little did you know when you seduced that angel with your music that you would change the world! For your pains (being roasted in a bath and poorly beheaded*) we get to enjoy the grandiose sounds of the organ to this day.

*It took her three days to die. That is poor axemanship.