It's over Swithun! Put that cloud down!

 

The reign of Saint Swithun is finished.

The 40 day tyranny of his weather curse is over.

Saint Bartholomew has taken the weather from his hands and now all bets are off.

He'll be back next year, but for now we can expect 10 months of unpredictable weather, unlike the last 40 days of course.

Wrap up cold! It's a Dog day!

Feeling out of sorts?

Ill?

Can't get comfy?

Are their evil portents or foul things afoot?

Has your dog gone plum crazy?

Are you a bit hot?

Worry not! All that has happened is that the dog star has risen with the sun and we are in the midst of the Dog Days!

The Dog Days occur between the 3rd July and the 11th August.

To survive them you will need the following:

1. Ice

2. Water

3. Umbrella

4. Naked skin

5. A fan

6. Lemonade

7. A slice of lemon

8. A sprig of mint

9. Pimms

For more information watch the documentary "Dog Day Afternoon" presented by Al Pacino.

July 16th - Crab the Parson!

Have you ever had the urge to lob handfuls of small, bitter fruit at a vicar?

Well now's your chance! 

On July 16th you would find hundreds of bruised and battered parsons covered in the remnants of crabapples thrown by enthusiastic parishioners to celebrate the eve of Saint Kenelm's Day.

(Source: Maypoles, Mayhem and Martyrs by Quentin Cooper and Paul Sullivan.)

Dragon Day!

As everyone knows July 14th is Dragon Day! 

That is because, as everyone knows, a dragon landed in a cowfield in Henham, Essex, on this day in 1669. This incredible event was reported widely via pamphlet (the Huffington Post of its day) and became the foundation of a glorious drunken fair in which copious amounts of cider and beer (in the same glass) were consumed in honour of this fiery visitor.

So, like those villagers of old (or university students out on the razz) raise a glass of Snakebite to the Dragon and roar!

The Wyrd Kalendar Album - July Artist - Concretism

Last year we prepared for the publication of the book Wyrd Kalendar...

This year we are making ready an album of  the same name...

This new album will contain 13 tracks - 12 of which will be related to the stories from the book and the month of the year. The album will be released by the very groovy Mega Dodo (who released Songs from the Black Meadow in 2016). All profits from the album will go to charity.

The artists have been given a month each, a copy of the linked story and Andy Paciorek's picture to give them a starting point and away they go!

We are very proud to reveal that the artist for July is the darkly chilling Concretism who has created a track based on the month of July and the story "Grotto Day". Concretism creates fascinating and haunting work that explores a half-remembered 1970's landscape of Nuclear Power stations and Rabies Warnings. It is a beautiful and disturbing world that is well worth getting lost in.

His most recent album is "For Concrete and Country". Released by Castles in Space this work is astonishing and deeply evocative of the grey brutalism of an imagined apocalypse.


 Check out and buy his earlier work here...
More information about the album and our other monthly artists will be released throughout 2018...
While you wait check out some fantastic tracks from this earlier chilling work...

Wyrd Kalendar - A Mix for Summer

Join the Kalendar Host in a haunting hike upon the Kalendar Heath this summer. Peppered with the sounds of summer, music on the theme of summer and extracts from three summer based tales from Wyrd Kalendar (available to buy here). You will also be given the opportunity to pause in your trek as special guests from the Folk Horror Revival, Howard Ingham and Darren Charles discuss a vital summer film and album for your edification and delight.

 The Spring mix includes tunes by Belbury Poly, Marianne Faithful, Emil Richards, XTC, Kate Bush, Patricia Varley, Acid House Kings, The Style Council, David Cain, Percy Faith and his Orchestra, Animal Collective, T Rex, Aha, Belle and Sebastian, Jim Williams, Los Chicarrons, Terry Hall, G. Love and Special Sauce, Beck, Clannad, Reef, Cold Cave, Pink Floyd, The Divine Comedy, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, Luke  Haines, Love, Nat King Cole, Luis Bacalov, The Sandals, The Kinks, The Flaming Lips, Lana Del Ray, Keith Mansfield, All About Eve, Patti Smith, The Heartwood Institute, Primal Scream, The Beach Boys, The Decemberists, The Bitter Sweets, The Lovin’ Spoonful, The Stranglers, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra and Dusty Springfield.

Summer Mix Is Coming In... June 21st

Countdown to Publication of Wyrd Kalendar - July

As we prepare for the publication of Wyrd Kalendar later this month enjoy the July mix that contains extracts from "Grotto Day" and explore some of our July discoveries here...

Martha and the Girdle of Power

It's Saint Martha's  Day! 

When she wasn't too busy making scones for  Christ whilst he revived her dead  brother Lazarus Saint Martha found the time, in First Century Judea, to defeat a dragon (called Tarasque) using her medieval girdle.

This method is still used to defeat Dragons today and Wyrd Kalendar have created a handy cut out and keep poster for you to cut out and keep (see above).

Who doesn't want their own Dragon? Martha did. Here you can see her feeding it a bishop.

According to Legend Martha visited France in 48AD and started converting the French to  Christianity. 

After defeating Tarasque the Dragon, Martha used it as a surfing aid. 

While she was visiting the town of Tarascon she discovered it was being terrorised by a dragon called Tarasque. She went out to meet the dragon, flicked holy water on it which calmed it down and then tied her girdle about its neck.

Saint Martha was often seen taking the Dragon Tarasque for walks at the local park. This had to stop after it burnt the bins, ate three babies and scared a duck.

Once it was in her power soldiers came to town and killed it with their spears... however some say she kept it as a pet... others that they teamed up to form a crime-fighting team. (It has recently been reported that "Martha and the  Dragon" is currently being developed by Netflix.)

Tarasque the dragon sadly died of complications brought on by morbid obesity. This was mainly due to its Bishop rich diet.

You can find out more about Saint Martha in Sister Mary Agatha Bootle's seminal work "Making Scones for  Christ."

Published by Esoheritix in 1977

Saint Pantaleon's Day - Think of the poor executioner...

We've all been there.

That job that you thought was going to be easy but it turns into a rolling nightmare.

You come home exhausted and upset.

Who can you turn to? Who can understand what you've been through?

On this Saint Pantaleon's day let's spare a thought for the executioner.

Get down from there! Simeon Stylites and the pillar of Austerity

You had enough of people?

They are awful aren't they? With their faces and clothes, their opinions and breath, their lives and thoughts. Disgusting.

There are two ways of dealing with your misanthropy. 

The first is to kill everyone in the entire world. This is a costly exercise and would probably be quite tiring so why not try the second option.

Why not live on the top of a pillar or pole?

Simeon Stylites did it and was made a saint for his trouble. And his day is celebrated on July 24th.

Mind you he probably hated the fact he was in a club with all the other saints. Because they were people. And people are awful. 

"God those guys are tall" thought Simeon jealously.

Simeon was an ascetic. He gave up worldly goods and lived a life of poverty to honour God. He was so irritating that the other monks thought he was showing them up asked him to leave. It was then that he decided to live on top of a pillar to escape humanity. People would bring him food and I assume someone cleaned the bottom of the pillar every so often.

The Browning Seance

To celebrate the famous seance on 23rd July 1855, (where the poet Robert Browning and his wife witnessed several disembodied hands and floating clemati) the entrepeneur, medium and alleged professional charlatan William Talchester recorded this seance.

It took place on the same date in 1936. William Talchester reported that he had successfully contacted the famous dead poet.

Judge for yourself.

Get Lucky with Gabe!

Are you feeling low?

Think everything is conspiring against you?

Do you wish that just once things could go your way?

Do you wish you had a little bit of luck?

Well fret no more! It's July 12th!

The Archangel Gabriel has long established this to be the luckiest day of the year!

For more details check out the lovely display below!

Good Luck!

Test your luck: Roll one die. If you roll lower than your luck score then something lucky will definitely happen... if you roll higher then it's not July 12th!

What is in the Grotto? The July Mix is here...

It is July.

 It is time to run through the fields, your hand trailing against the light brown grass so close to harvest, ignoring the angry cries of the farmer as you exploit your imagined bucolic past.

 It is time to build a grotto to celebrate Saint James. It is time to venture onto the Kalendar Heath again. Let the heat of these songs enfold you as Jim Moon reads extracts from this month’s story “Grotto Day” (written by Chris Lambert as part of “Wyrd Kalendar” due for publication in October).

 This month’s mix contains music by Goldfrapp, Terry Reid, Uriah Heep, David Cain, Be Bop Deluxe, Gordon Lightfoot, John Stewart, Laura Veirs, Roger Waters, Sesame Street, Nick Nicely, Slim Dusty, Velvet Opera and Soundgarden.

July is coming - What is inside the Grotto?

And it came to pass that June came to an end. July waited in the wings; a coy dancer ready to  perform its first darling pirouette on the Kalendar stage.

Children ran screaming with delight, buckets full of oyster shells, to celebrate this beautiful month.

Join us in July to find what lurks within the grotto...