It is Walpurgis Night!
What are you doing to protect your home from witches?
We at Wyrd Kalendar have been kind enough to collate genuine methods for repelling witches.
Every WALPURGIS NIGHT witches of every hue, age and colour will plague our land.
It is vital that you protect your house from these supernatural miscreants.
They will ride about on a horse with THE DEVIL,
turn your MILK sour,
CURSE your cattle,
replace your children with FOUL argumentative urchins,
make your PORRIDGE stiff,
CAST spells that will make you have FUN,
fly on BROOMSTICKS,
DANCE around bonfires,
speak with their FAMILIARS,
make deals with GOATS,
wear NOTHING at all,
make otherwise good and honest MENFOLK think LUSTFUL and LASCIVIOUS thoughts,
caper about POLES,
knock at your DOOR...
TO STOP WITCHES ENTERING YOUR HOME WE RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING FOOLPROOF METHODS…
MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS YOU CAN - RING CHURCH BELLS - SLAM DOORS - CRACK WHIPS—BANG POTS AND PANS
BRANDISH TORCHES (TOPPED WITH ROSEMARY AND JUNIPER)
WITCH PROOF YOUR HOUSE WITH BIRCH BOUGHS